What's in a kiss?

ou Sometimes it's terrifying to think about how I will probably never ever have another first kiss in my life. It's scary to put that way but when I actually take a moment and think about it, I'm okay with it. I could be okay kissing Shane every day until the end of my days to be honest. I never thought I would say that at this age, none the less actually want it to happen, but when he kisses me, I never want to be like that with anyone else.

It's an understatement to say that I've "kissed other people" in my life, but before I met Shane a kiss was just something you were supposed to do with people you dated. Boyfriend's kissed their girlfriends and that's just what happens in relationships right? Sure. That's what I always thought. Other times when I would kiss people it ended up being a moment of lust and loneliness between close friends that ended in confusion, often regret and the changing of something that was once special. None of those kisses were ones that I would want to have over and over again for the rest of my life.

Now however, kissing Shane is like seeing my future, as cheesey as that sounds and believe me, I'm full of cheese. I know he'll be the one I wake up to when I'm 50 and I'm okay with that. Hell, I'm happy about that. Some people say that I'm too young to know this but I think that they are wrong. You just know when it's right. Shane still gives me butterflies every single morning. Our relationship feels like we've just met again. I never get bored, I never love him any less and I always find the capacity to love him more. He amazes me with his kindness and ability to say all the right things, just not always at the right time. I once told him that we share one heart and that's how I know and love him so much. He corrected me and said, "No we have two separate hearts, they just beat the same way. That's what brought us together." Things like that make my entire day.

It's strange to think that all of this stemmed from our first kiss over a year and a half ago. It wasn't brought on by lust, loneliness, curiosity or anything like that. He kissed me because he felt something. If there wasn't something there then it wouldn't have worked out. He is my kindered spirit and the butterflies are still there, every morning.

There are two men in my life

So it's a Monday night and there's definitely class tomorrow which makes me not exactly happy. Not happy about having to get up and drive to Meredith but when I think about it, I'm happy. Right now I'm sitting in my living room recliner watching the love of my life play video games with my newly acquired best guy friend. It's never exactly worked out that my significant other would actually get along with many of my friends but in this case it's amazing how alike they are. They are bonding over playing "Gears of War:2" and the words "epic" and "fucking awesome" keep coming out of their mouths... actually one of them just said "booby trap".... and it makes me smile to watch them.
While they are different, one being the love of my life and the other being an amazing friend, I love them both. Shane loves me for exactly who I am and doesn't expect me to change one bit. He met me and came into my life when I needed him the most and hasn't left since. Izzy is just one of those genuinely nice guys who hasn't had the best luck in love in his life. It's my goal to find him a nice girl because he deserves one.
Regardless of how they fill different voids in my life, there are two very important men in my life (other than my daddy of course) and I wouldn't be the same without them and their "epicness." Without Izzy I would die at work at the hands of our bitch manager and without Shane my life would be empty and I wouldn't know what to do.

They are both extraordinary men.