Staring out into the wild blue yonder, so many things to sit and ponder

"I want life and not just a souvenier. I'll have to find it anywhere but here."

So I just spent the last 3 days in Cary and Raleigh, NC with my boyfriend and his family. Now keep in mind that I have been living in the Raleigh area for the last year so it's not very unusual for me to be there, however it just so happens that nowadays the school year is over and I've fallen victim to having to move back home. So like I said, I was in Raleigh and Cary and it felt like home. I felt like I knew the lay of the land and was completely and effortlessly comfortable in that big city. Raleigh is where my heart is. My school is there, the school that is more of a home that the town I was born and raised in. I'd give anything just to live there all the time. To be a permanent Meredith Angel (not that you are ever not one once you become one) would be lovely. But I'm getting beside myself at the moment because this is not what I meant to talk about. The point I was trying to get to is that I only feel like I'm truly living the life I love when I am in that town with those people. I do want life that is not a souvenier and that is what I feel like I'm getting when I'm "home". I feel like Wilson, NC is the airport gift shop that you visit just to waste time before getting on with the real deal. I'm not getting the full life experience if I stay in this town for overly concentrated amounts of time. I've come to figure out that I am only going to be able to get my shot at life if I am anywhere but here. Smalltown USA was never for me and it is never going to be for me and that's all I can really say.

So I guess I'll stay here for the next couple months as I wait for my chance to jump in the car and move all my stuff into another dorm room, but that's okay. I live for those days in the dorm, in a town that I can't stand to be away from. I'm only going to be able to live my life if I am anywhere but here and that's the honest truth. I know this was a short one but it's late and I'm tired.