The Wedding...

The wedding. My wedding. But is it a wedding or a real marriage? Do i want a marriage or do I just dream of playing dress up and princess. Let's think about it. What does it take to really want a marriage?

Well first you need the guy. CHECK! I've got that. See below. His name is Shane and I find him simply perfect. He's the dork that I never ever saw myself being in love with, but I am. I am so in love with him that I don't know what to do with myself and I've never admitted that to myself about any other guy before. I think he's the one. So, CHECK!

Next you need a ring. So maybe this one doesn't get as big of a check as the previous need. However, we have looked and discussed and found what I like and what he likes/can afford. It's close, I can feel it. So let's say that this one is a semi-check. Almost there.

Of course you need a dress. Every little girl dreams about her wedding dress, myself included, and I want it all. I want a ball gown with beading and a train and a veil and the whole nine yards. Or at least I think I do. I will gladly try on many dresses to find the one I want. So this one doesn't get a check at all. It gets a maybe. Or a hopefully.

Above all these things, beyond the ring, and the dress, you need love. I'm there. I have that. It get's the biggest check of all. I love him, and being without him breaks my heart. I've said love before to another guy but this, this isn't the same. This is what love is supposed to feel like and I know it. He is what I want.